My Macaroni Salad

Editorial Note

“My Macaroni Salad” is the most politically daring piece in this collection, necessary for its challenging exploration of community judgment. While most submissions celebrate land-based food knowledge and belonging, this poem questions the authenticity standards imposed by the community itself, mirroring colonial expectations. Rather than providing answers, it inhabits these questions, with the macaroni salad symbolizing choices deemed “not Indigenous enough.” The second section’s breathless prose captures the struggle of seeking recognition that often eludes. This piece is vital as it complicates the theme of belonging, reminding us that reclaiming identity can be hindered by the very communities we wish to connect with.

My macaroni salad

is not good enough for the rez.

They say I’m colonized

because I prefer vegetables instead –

cubed red and yellow peppers,

peppercorn ranch dressing,

ham instead of klik.

My macaroni salad

is not good enough for the rez.

It is implied that I am colonized

because I used Italian seasoning instead.

Can’t just have mayo –

must have spice.

Because my macaroni salad

is just not good enough for the rez.

I can cook, I can bake, I can sew, I can create masterpieces — but neither ever seems good enough
for the rez. I made a giant thunderbird that made all heads tum at the annual parade, and I did not even place. I guess I don’t understand the rules laid before me, rules that, no matter how hard I try to decipher, I just cannot translate into a first-place win. Maybe I’m making it too complicated. The ones who do win spend half the time on their pieces. I just can’t seem to make it -just a polite second or third. I just cannot win.

About the Author

My name is Fawn Morales. I am a Swampy Cree Native woman from Pimicikamak Cree Nation. I have lived a life as a jack of all trades, but still better than a master of one, from tree planting to Ambulance and Engineering into Education, which is why I find myself back in school seeking a degree in Education. I am the mother of three very independent, beautiful children with my partner, who has been by my side for many years. I aspire to leave a legacy for my children and future grandchildren, just as my elders left one for me. I would never expect to fill their shoes, but I will be sure to leave my own beside them.

Editor's Remarks

Fawn Moral has taken three Indigenous Literature courses with me in the past years and is an influential writer and speaker. Her poem addresses a crucial question in Indigenous Knowledge and Food Sustainability: who defines authentic Indigeneity? The macaroni salad with peppers and ranch dressing is not a failure of cultural identity, but rather a reflection of individual tastes and experiences. The community’s verdict of “not good enough for the rez” embodies a policing that mimics colonial logic.

What makes this piece remarkable is its lack of resolution. The various acts of offering-cooking, baking, sewing-never quite suffice, and the poem concludes with a poignant statement: “I just cannot win.” This honesty highlights the complexity of community belonging and underscores the bravery of students who embrace these tensions in their writing. (Dr. Ying Kong)