Article 4: We are not numbers

Nateshia Constant

I feel as if we are still proclaimed as numbers

Just like before, our names still translate into a number

which resides in our treaty number

The government is still counting First Nations as numbers

Filing our life into its growing statistical list of nothing but growing numbers

First Nations children in Residential Schools whose names were changed to a number

Their names were stripped and dipped in the ever-winding abyss

That turned to everlasting unknown numbers

The children are more than dearly missed

These children made small alliances to keep what reminded them of home

Because home was stripped and they felt alone

They murmured and spoke within the walls

The children were released with nothing but numbers in place of their names

Why did the system feel tall

There ways did not work at all

Nuns and priests made the children’s world crumble

The lost children were buried with nothing but a different number

No names to relate them with, so we all stumble

Number after number leaving the families to tumble

Of the trails of nothing but numbers everywhere

It looks like the end of a plan that came from an evil layer

What they told the children before us,

Those stories are now known for their lies

The once familiar was made into the unfamiliar

Why was this? And is this not peculiar?

All the lost children deserve to be found

Taken out of their slumber

No children should have been forced into the ground

A child’s identity changed to a number

The families are still around

The numbers must be turned back into their original names

And returned to their rightful place

Only then will they be at peace

And now I still feel as if I am one of the people with nothing but a number

I am familiar with the numbers kept in statistics

I am just but one

The people like me are alone like one

We miss the chances to get the funds because of the way we are described in statistics

This can not be the way to know the real us

How can they come to decisions before they meet the true us

As the survivors reach for healing

I hope people don’t turn a blind eye

About the stories shared of the genocide

Little by little we will find

The hurt grew into intergenerational trauma 

Following a path of healing we will find the stamina

After working together to find a sound mind

We are people not numbers in line

We are people who still seek for our rights

We need to be kept in mind

We will continue to fight with all our might

We want all spirits to find the light

So that we can make the world bright

Bio of the poet:

Nateshia Constant is a 30-year-old mother of two beautiful boys ages 7 and 9. She was born in The Pas but raised in Opaskwayak Cree Nation. However, she prefers to say that she was brought up in The Pride Lands (Big Eddy). She is a fulltime 5^th year student of the Bachelor of Education/Bachelor of Arts and Bachelor of Education Integrated Stream (BEDIS) program at University College of the North, The Pas Campus. She is majoring in Aboriginal studies and minoring in Sociology for her Bachelor of Arts degree.   In 2021, she completed the Bachelor of Arts program. Nateshia plans to continue her studies for her Bachelor of Education program and to complete her program in 2023. She is currently working towards becoming a teacher. She would like to work in her own community; her goal is to one day become an economics teacher or a Native crafts instructor/teacher.

Editor’s Remarks:

Nateshia Constant is one of the contributors to Muses from the North. Her poem, “The Sorrow for Our Future Generations” was published in the 8^th volume. The poem of “We are not numbers” was received upon The Call for Submissions to this special issue of Truth and Reconciliation. After discussing with Natashia about the possibility of conducting an interview with Residential/Day School Survivors, she reached to several possible candidates for the interviews. As the topic triggers strong emotions invoked by memories of the past abuse, Nateshia followed the “Guiding Principles for National Centre of Truth and Reconciliation Statement Gathering”.  With her efforts, Nateshia conducted two interviews of Day School survivors: “Saskatchewan Day School Survivors’ Story” and “Interview with Robert Lathlin”. While Nateshia’s story and interview reveal the truth of the effect of the residential/day school systems on Indigenous people, they also exemplify how the survivors cope with their trauma in their healing process and call for governmental and professional help for reconciliation. Thanks, Nateshia, for your contribution to Muses from the North and sharing the stories and interviews with our readers. (Dr. Ying Kong)