Article 2: Am I Next?

Charlie McGillivary

Helen Betty Osborne

Kendara Ballantyne

Josephine Martin

Darcie Muchikekwanape

Charlene Aubichon

Is anyone following me?

Am I being stared at?

Are they plotting how to grab me?

How will I defend myself today?

Valuable when useful

Exploited and ignored

Why am I expendable?

I must walk by the place where she was found

He needed a screwdriver and asked for a Betty

I am sure that I saw that same vehicle down the road

You do not have to drive your vehicle that close to my son and I

That is a weird place to park

Why did you turn around there?

I memorized your license plate

Will anyone help me if I scream?

Single mother and full-time student

I cannot afford my own vehicle

My son’s father is in another town

My phone is always visible

Do not make eye contact

Am I able to jump over that fence?

Music to help me stay calm

Fully aware of my surroundings

I look unapproachable but I am terrified

I stare back

Do not look at me

Do not approach me

Do not talk to me

Do not touch me

My son is waiting for me at home

Author’s Bio: Charlie McGillivary is an Indigenous woman of Swampy Cree descent and a band member of Opaskwayak Cree Nation. She is a mother to a three-year-old son which was her motivation to obtain higher education. Her major is Aboriginal Studies and her minor is Sociology at University College of the North. Charlie is vocal about her mental health ordeals, and is constantly advocating against the stigmatization of people that are experiencing any form of mental illness. Charlie, herself, battled with bouts of depression and anxiety until she was recently prescribed antidepressant medication which has made her day-to-day life easier. She believes that her diagnosis stems from ongoing trauma as a victim of the residential school system. Charlie’s hobbies include drawing/painting and reading. In her spare time, she enjoys being around her support system which includes family and friends. Charlie also enjoys diving into creative tasks such as scrapbooking and collaging. Her future plans in her academic journey include relocating to Winnipeg to obtain a masters in School Psychology. She is debating on whether to complete her undergraduate degree in December 2022 or extending it into another year because she enjoys being a student.

Instructor Remarks: Charlie poems “Colonized” and “Am I Next?” are the student’s creative works, submitted to fulfil the creative writing component of the ENG.1002 course. Charlie was my student in the fall term of 2021. Both poems, though appear to be different on the surface, have similar themes, namely, racism, and fear, as occasioned by the miscarriage or the lack of justice. Indigenous people continue to experience maltreatment under the watchful eyes of the system that was supposed to protect them—Dr. Joseph Atoyebi.