Article 18: Missing Missy

Jamie Bignell

           I was in the first grade when I met her.  I didn’t know then that she would be my heart-to-heart dog, but she was!

           I remember coming home early from school. We were sent home because a snow storm was bearing down on my town. As I opened the door to our living room, I saw two plastic crates, a shiny dark blue, new-looking crate, and a very sad-looking, scratched-up old white crate sitting on the table in the hall. They were eye height to me. As I looked inside, there were two puppy faces staring back, a happy, black one, anxious to get out, and a small ball of yellow fluff trying to hide in the corner of her crate.

           I was told a friend of Grandma’s had rescued a Shih-Tzu dog that then had puppies.  Her friend couldn’t keep them all, so we chose one and found a home for the other. I got to open the crate and let them out. The black male ran around confidently, but the golden little girl hid under the table and wouldn’t come out. I was always good with animals though, so it wasn’t an issue. I just went straight under the table, and I picked her up. We decided then, the boy would go to a new home, and ‘the little Miss’ would stay with us. That night, that tiny puppy slept on my pillow right beside me.   We were both small.  There was lots of room.

           She grew and graduated to the bottom of the bed, but she never left me.  If I closed a door, she waited outside.  If I went to school or Church, she watched at the window for me to come home and then was so excited to see me; it always made me laugh.

           I have so many memories of this dog. When I was cleaning up using a vacuum, unlike most dogs who would run away from the loud noise, she never did. Instead, she would stick by me and not even flinch at all. During the summer, when it was hot, I gave her baths, cut her fur where there were mats, and she would just let me do it. If I needed to cut the hair around her eyes, she would not move or push me away. Most dogs would struggle, but Missy trusted me with anything.

           When fall arrived, I was taking the trash out. I accidentally left the door opened; Missy came running outside and came right beside me.  Most dogs would like to run free looking for other dogs, but not this special one. She stayed with me and followed me back into the house.  One day, I went shopping with my grandma, and I saw the perfect pink bow.  I bought it. I put it on Missy’s head and told her she was the cutest dog ever! Missy had my heart. I remember too how she would always listen to what I said, with a little tilt of her head. It was like she understood me.  I didn’t have to train her; she just understood and learned to do “a high five” when she was still a puppy.  All I had to do was put up my hand  and she would always put her paw up. She was one of a kind.

           She was about three years old when we added a kitten. I love cats, and Missy seemed to notice.   She was jealous. I had to make sure that she knew I loved her the most. The kitten was on my bed, and Missy was behind me.  She was curious, but it looked like she would bite him. I hugged her and put her close to the kitten to let her know that it was okay. It took Missy a few days to accept that this kitten was here to stay. But in only a short time,  she was acting like its mother, training it and keeping it warm at night!

           We played high-5 and ball together, Missy and me.  If I went outside, she followed beside me, and if we played, a call brought her to my side.  She would sit by me under my piano bench for hours when I practiced my music on the piano. She even seemed to have a favourite among the pieces that I played. She was more than a pet. She was my friend. When I was studying online, Missy would put her paws on my thighs, and she would talk to me using her little sounds, almost like she was saying, “Pick me up,” and she would always be on my lap. 

           Missy was about eleven that spring day when we were in the garden.  Out of nowhere came two big, horrible dogs that looked like they wanted to attack her. I stood up and she ran.  She almost made it to the deck, but I screamed.  I was afraid for her, and I wanted them to go away. She turned, I think, to protect me. The larger of the two dogs picked her up by the neck, shook her, and she fell.

           I was screaming! My family ran outside, and so did the neighbours. The horrible man from the horrific house where the killer dogs lived came into our yard yelling at his son for not being able to catch his dog, but he never even said he was sorry. My Grandma carried Missy, who was bleeding a lot, into the house and laid her on the kitchen table.  We called the Vet; unfortunately, there was just an after-hour’s answering machine. Missy raised her head, and it seemed she was okay for a minute. Then, she looked at me one last time, took a few breaths and collapsed. She was dead.

           I felt like my world ended. I couldn’t breathe. I went into my room and couldn’t stop crying. I cried for a very long time. I still had a difficult time breathing, but my grandma held me, and I cried till I had no more tears.

           We wrapped her in a new white sheet to be buried the next day.  She was on the porch, wrapped up in the sheet, when I went outside. I put my head on her body and whispered to her “I love you, Missy; thank you for being in my life and for being the best friend that I ever had.” Then I repeated goodbye later that night.

           I was registered to play my level 8 exam in piano for Royal Conservatory of Music examinnation the next day. My grandma asked me if I wanted to do it and push through or wait another year, I said “no.”  I knew my grandma was very worried about me. After all the hard work I’ve put into the program, I couldn’t do that to myself. Furthermore, and I remembered the hours Missy had spent by my feet as I played

           The next day, Missy was on my mind all the time. And when I played my pieces, I thought of myself playing for her.  I did well.

           It took me a while to look at videos or photos of Missy. It just hurt too much. I’m even trying not to cry as I write this. Later, Facebook memories would pop up on my phone, like a photo of her lying beside the baby kitten. It made me sad, but I didn’t cry. Instead, I thought of all the happy moments created with her.  I showed my grandma, and she smiled too.

           When Missy died; a strange thing happened that night.  Our cat, who was not really affectionate, climbed to put his head on my shoulder, exactly the way Missy did!  He never acted that way before, and he never left me until I got up. It was almost as if Missy was saying she was gone, but everything would be okay and that she’s okay. I stayed in my room for hours after that with the cat  beside me, resting his paw on my cheek.  It was almost as if he was trying to wipe my tears away. I am still shocked that he did that.

           My brother and I were trying to find a place to Missy right under my window, but it wouldn’t work.   There was some metal stuck in the ground, and we couldn’t dig any further. So, we both went into the front of the yard with me carrying her body. There was a perfect spot in grandma’s garden, surrounded by pretty colorful flowers. Missy is buried there, close to our house. I think of her often, and I miss her so much.

           She was half of me; I hope one day in my life, I will find another connection with another dog, as unique as the one I had with Missy. She is no longer by my side, but forever in my heart. That precious life was taken too soon.

           I am sure she is at rest in a special part of Heaven saved for beautiful dogs. A piece of my heart is gone, but now she can run free with other dogs. I believe I will someday see her again. There is nothing truer in this world than the love of a good dog. And having a dog like Missy will bless you with many of the happiest days of your life, and sadly, one of the worst.

           A part of me will always have her in my heart, and I will always be Missing Missy.

Authors’ Bio: Jamie Bignell is from Opaskwayak Cree Nation near The Pas Manitoba. Jamie is currently a 1st year student at UCN, completing a B. A., majoring in History and English.  She is also a senior piano student with the Royal Conservatory of Music. At some point in the future, she would like to teach music. Jamie considers herself a story teller, and she enjoys writing short stories.

Instructor Remarks: It is hard not feel a strong sense of sadness whenever a loving, loyal, and faithful family pet crosses the rainbow bridge. Such was the feeling after reading Jamie’s creative non-fiction story about her beloved Missy. I believe that we are helping Jamie to keep Missy’s memory alive through the publication of this story which was originally submitted in my ENG.1002 class—Dr. Joseph Atoyebi.