Article 9: Descent Into Chaos

By Kassidy Burden

I cannot get away from you,
No matter where I go you are always there.
I see you everywhere.
Why are you always watching me?

It all started gradually,
I would see you in the same spot occasionally,
Occasionally became consistently.
That spot became plural spots.
And now I cannot be rid of you.

The police never did anything,
They say they couldn’t find any evidence of you.
The last time I heard one officer call me crazy,
But I am not crazy!
You are here, and you are real,
And I am not the only person to have seen you.

I do not answer the phone.
Not anymore!
When I do, it’s always your voice on the other end.
No matter the number on call display,
No matter whom the phone belongs to,
It is always you.
It does not even matter the time of day.
Half asleep, and the phone will ring in my dreams,
And as clear as day your voice is on the other end.

I try to ignore you.
To drown you out with any means necessary.
But still you are always there.
I surround myself with other people.
Fast, loud music plays that makes my heart pulsate.
My head spins from the drinks I consume to try to forget you.
Eventually I do for a time,
But you are always there for when I cannot stand anymore.
You’re always the one to take me home.
I try to forget, but the parts I remember are always haunted by you.
Amidst the strobing lights and blurred faces you are always there.
You are in the bottom of my glass and in my sheets when I awake.
Why won’t you leave me alone?

You see, I cannot escape you.
I run and I hide from you,
But somehow you always manage to find me.
You say I cannot run and hide from the truth.
I cannot be free of you.
I try so hard.
I spend days in my home,
In the corner and in the tub.
Sometimes when I think I have finally had a day where you were not present,
You let yourself in,
You make yourself welcome in my home.
I do not want you here!

I am scared.
You scare me.
I do not know what to do anymore.
Why won’t you go away?
What do you want from me?
You are making me your prisoner.
Please leave me alone.
I do not understand why you chose me.
Sometimes I wonder if this was your plan,
To make me see you when you are not even present.

I see you everywhere.

I see you in the wallpapers that line the walls of my chamber,
And when I am on my way to work.
I even see you in other people,
In their eyes and in their words.
You are here,
You are there,
You are everywhere!

Worst of all I see you in myself. I see you looking back at me in the foggy bathroom mirror.
Have I had an epiphany?

How do I get way?
I cut my hair and I change my face,
But it doesn’t help!
You still know.
Will you always know?
I don’t even know!
I HAVE HAD ENOUGH!

I will be free from you!
There is one way to be free from anything and everything in this world.
I am desperate.
I will do anything to get away from you.
Your eyes cannot haunt me after this.
Your voice cannot find me where I am going.
You can watch me forever,
But I will be free from your terror!
I will be free!

You cannot follow me in death.

About the Poet: Kassidy Burden was born and raised in Thompson, where she lives with her family. She is currently enrolled in the Bachelor of Arts with Nursing Intent. She likes to carry the attitude of “be yourself” and her fringe personality in her creative work. Kassidy is a person who tries to be mindful and “calls it as it is”, embellishing life with a sense of humour that stands on its own. These traits are ones that she tries to carry over in all her work and endeavors, especially her writing and visual artwork.bout the Poet: Kassidy Burden was born and raised in Thompson, where she lives with her family. She is currently enrolled in the Bachelor of Arts with Nursing Intent. She likes to carry the attitude of “be yourself” and her fringe personality in her creative work. Kassidy is a person who tries to be mindful and “calls it as it is”, embellishing life with a sense of humour that stands on its own. These traits are ones that she tries to carry over in all her work and endeavors, especially her writing and visual artwork.

Instructor’s Remarks: I am very pleased to see Kassidy publishing her poem in our first edition of Muse from the North. Kassidy is a gifted writer, and it has been a pleasure for me to have her in my writing course. Congratulations Kassidy. (Dr. Gilbert Mcinnis)